


Why are all my sensei naked?!

by unjaundiced, windfallswest



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-12
Updated: 2012-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-29 10:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/318917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unjaundiced/pseuds/unjaundiced, https://archiveofourown.org/users/windfallswest/pseuds/windfallswest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It started <a href="http://kakairu.livejournal.com/2650850.html?thread=28227554#t28227554">here</a>. Well, actually, it started <a href="http://kakairu.livejournal.com/2650850.html">here</a>, which is where I have to admit an embarrassing amount of my pre-canon image of Iruka comes from. In case anyone was wondering why I'm always giving him a fauxhawk.</p><p>ALL THANKS TO <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/unjaundiced/pseuds/unjaundiced">UNJAUNDICED</a>, who owns about half of this and is directly responsible for spurring it beyond the bounds of silliness and into the improbable wilds of pure crack. I hope you don't mind that I decided to preserve this for posterity.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Why are all my sensei naked?!

**Author's Note:**

> It started [here](http://kakairu.livejournal.com/2650850.html?thread=28227554#t28227554). Well, actually, it started [here](http://kakairu.livejournal.com/2650850.html), which is where I have to admit an embarrassing amount of my pre-canon image of Iruka comes from. In case anyone was wondering why I'm always giving him a fauxhawk.
> 
> ALL THANKS TO [UNJAUNDICED](http://archiveofourown.org/users/unjaundiced/pseuds/unjaundiced), who owns about half of this and is directly responsible for spurring it beyond the bounds of silliness and into the improbable wilds of pure crack. I hope you don't mind that I decided to preserve this for posterity.

"Maa, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka looked down from Kakashi's biceps, covered in a thin layer of post-mission sweat, and down to the proffered mission report, mentally kicking himself.

The mission report was actually a step up from what he usually got from Kakashi; not one of the stains on it looked like they'd come from something alive. Still.

"Absolutely disgraceful," he snapped in his best verbal-spanking voice. "Unacceptable."

"Maa, loosen up a little, Iruka sensei. I'm very tired." Kakashi's visible eye regarded him dolefully.

Iruka was suddenly struck by what was either a very good or a very, very bad idea.

"Go sit over there," Iruka pointed to his left where a small, unused desk stood facing out from the wall, "and rewrite this. Legibly. You'll go home when I'm satisfied. And," he added sinisterly, "I'll be watching you."

He thought he heard Kakashi gulp, although it was difficult to tell with the mask. Iruka slapped a fresh scroll into his hand and squinted menacingly into the single, unreadable eye.

Kakashi sighed and slumped over to the desk. He stared at the blank scroll for a moment, then pulled a pen out from somewhere and started writing, the muscles in his arms shifting.

It was Iruka's turn to swallow. The next ninja in line cleared her throat, and Iruka guiltily went back to work.

 

"There."

Iruka, who had just accepted an immaculate report from Hyuga Hiashi, jumped at the noise of a scroll banging down on his desk. He picked it up, careful to look businesslike, and scanned it.

There were no stains on this one (unlike the first, and where had Kakashi even gotten sweet and sour sauce, was what Iruka would like to know; he'd been _watching him_ , dammit). Kakshi had spent the better part of the afternoon hunched over the crooked desk, arm muscles flexing furiously as he wrote and rewrote. Iruka stared at him covertly during lulls and tended to lose his train of thought whenever Kakashi shook out his pen-hand.

This was attempt number four, and the lines of writing were almost straight ( _You know, Kakashi, writing traditionally goes all in the same direction_ ), and most basic rules of spelling, grammar, and cogency seemed to have been followed. There weren't even any sexually explicit doodles in the margin. (That one, he'd kept to show Yondaime; the expression on the Kazekage's face was priceless.)

Iruka bit his lip, weighing the options. Kakashi crossed his arms impatiently, biceps tense. One of them was twitching.

Bad idea. It had definitely been a bad idea. Iruka rerolled the scroll and dropped it primly in the trash.

"You handwriting is still atrocious," he decided, enjoying the tension in Kakashi's shoulders as he snatched the proffered fresh scroll and stalked back over to the desk.

His ass wasn't half-bad, either.

 

Naughty, naughty sensei! But obviously Kakashi enjoys the attention or he'd do it right the first five times. He just wants to wait until the Mission Room closes to get some boom boom alone time with his favourite sensei... Maybe get a different kind of detention.

 

Iruka: Oh, now look what you've done to your report! And just when you got it perfect, too.

Kakashi: You should bend me over the other desk next time, sensei. *leer*

 

Person Who Actually Does the Filing: I hate handling Kakashi's mission reports *shudders*

Other Person Who Also Actually Does the Filing: Why can't they keep their role-playing out of the Mission's Room? Geez. Purell?

Person Who Actually Does the Filing: Thanks. *pulls out box of latex gloves* Glove?

Other Person Who Also Actually Does the Filing: No glove, no love. Then again... No love, no glove.

Iruka: You said something?

Kakashi: Maa, voyeurs?

Other People Who Also Actually Do the Filing: OH MY GOD YOU'RE STILL HERE?!?! WHY ARE YOU NAKED

Kakashi: Well, some things are hard to do with your clothes on.

Gai, coming in to deliver a mission report: Oh no! My Hip and Virile Rival, you have surpassed me in the arena of exhibitionism! I must go now and fornicate in the village square! WHO WILL BE THE MOST FORTUNATE INDIVIDUAL TO HAVE PUBLIC SEXUAL CONGRESS WITH THE GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA, HE OF UNMATCHED YOUTHFUL VITALITY? If I am not seen by at least one hundred people, I will practice until I can bend my ankles behind my head!

Kakashi: *grabs Iruka's arm* Well then. We'd better get out there and start scarring the minds of children.

Iruka: EXCUSE ME?!

Random People Outside: OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?! IS THAT GAI?!

Lee: GAI-SENSEI! YOU ARE SO YOUTHFUL AND BOLD! I AM ASHAMED TO HAVE NOT FORESEEN YOUR INTREPID SPIRIT! LET US JOIN YOU!

TenTen: NO DON'T!!!

Neji: I wonder if I can get Genma to shoot me with a senbon... in my eyes.

Jiraya: Orgy! Great idea, Kakashi! *starts stripping*

Everyone: *flees*

Naruto: WHY ARE ALL MY SENSEI NAKED?

Sakura: *rubs forehead and punches Naruto* It's obviously because of YOU!

Naruto: *twitching in his divot* T-that d-doesn't explain Gai-sensei

Sai: ... *starts taking off shirt*

Naruto: *jumps up pointing* NOT YOU TOO!!!

Sai: But everyone else is doing it. This book says that you should join in communal activities.

Sakura: *twitching* AND WHERE THE HELL IS YAMATO-SENSEI?!

*Yamato-tree's leaves shake* _I am a tree. I am a tree. Sakura can't hurt me. I am a tree._

Sai: *still trying to strip* Don't be ashamed of your tiny penis, Naruto. Some things can't be helped.

Naruto: I'll show _you_ tiny, you shrimp! *rips pants off*

Tsunade: *looks out her window and groans*

Shizune: Well, it's spring again. Are you going to do anything about it?

Kakashi: *is fucking Iruka up against Yamato-the-tree*

Tsunade: I'll let Sakura hose them off. The leadership experience is good for her.

Sai: *staring at Naruto's crotch* I don't see anything

Naruto: *screeching incoherently before summoning Gamatatsu and Gamakichi* SLIME HIM!

Gamatatsu: *eating a popsicle* Why is everyone naked? Should i be naked too?

Gamakichi: WE'RE NOT SLUGS, YOU BRAT! PUT SOME PANTS ON!

Yamato-tree: *crying* _I will never be clean again... My happy place. My happy place. My happy place. Oh god it matches their rhythm._

Kakashi: *smirks at Yamato-tree* Shall we try another position, sensei? Since this is SUCH a convenient tree.

Iruka: *moans incoherently* Hate you.. later

Sakura: *raises fist and punches ground sending people flying* SHANNARO!!!

Shikamaru: *on Hokage Tower* medoukuseee *rolls over and goes back to sleep*

Gai: *lands naked next to Shikamaru carrying a whooping Anko on his back* YOU ARE NEARLY AS COOL AS MY RIVAL TO BE SO UNMOVED BY THE PASSION OF GLORIOUS YOUTH!

Tsunade: *leans out her office window* YOU'D BETTER NOT BE NAKED UP THERE! I CHARGE MONEY FOR THAT! Oh wait, good idea!

Izumo and Kotetsu: *eagerly bring out tally books*

Tsunade: *evil laughter* For each person minus a shirt... the charge will be...

Shizune: *sighs* Don't encourage them, Tsunade-sama


End file.
